Beneath the Flowers
by Kiwisilence
Summary: To Drew, Cam would forever be beautiful, buried beneath the flowers. Drew only hoped he could find his own peace among the living. Cam/Drew slash.


This one-shot is for **dappa**. I didn't intend to write a tragedy (and I will hopefully write more romances).

* * *

All Drew had left was the memories of their relationship. Campbell Saunders had been taken too early from this world, destroying a part of Drew in the process.

Drew tried locking away the memories...he tried forgetting. But he missed Cam. He missed the only worthwhile relationship that he had ever experienced. Cam was beautiful...and would always remain beautiful in Drew's memories despite how much they pained him.

_Those memories..._

* * *

Their relationship didn't begin with some explosive revelation or declaration of their feelings. In fact, it almost didn't begin at all. Drew had been working on a project for Perino's history class after school. Eventually, he and Imogen had finished, leaving to go home.

There were so many hallways in Degrassi, so many ways out of the school. Drew could have taken any of them...but he didn't. Something within him must have been drawn to Cam, as if it was fate.

Drew had found Cam crying, alone.

In that moment, all he could think of was comforting the other boy. He couldn't know how Cam would become both the best and worst part of his life.

Drew had often thought about what would happen if he had the chance to never meet Cam: any other hallway would have changed his life. Despite that, he could never make that decision if it was possible. He would never regret meeting Cam despite the tears and the anger.

"Leave me alone." Cam whispered, not looking up to see who was standing in front of him. The boy kept his head down, trying and failing to hide how much of a watery mess his eyes were.

"I can't do that...Cam." Drew placed his hand on the other boy's shoulder, trying to be comforting.

"Please don't tell anyone you saw me like this."

Drew tried giving him a reassuring smile. "I won't."

Cam finally turned his face up, locking eyes with Drew. Cam was breaking down...just as Drew would be over him in the future.

"Just...go away."

Being nice to Cam was one thing, but Drew still wondered if what he had done next was right. Cam had been breaking down: in need of someone to hold him or just someone to talk to.

Cam didn't need someone to kiss him.

Most certainly not Drew: a notorious womanizer who wasn't known for ever being soft or comforting.

Despite that, seeing Cam had pulled out the softer, kinder side of Drew. He didn't act nice to many people that weren't his family. But Cam was falling apart in front of him and had instantly brought that out.

"I won't got away." Drew pushed Cam into a kiss, shocking the hockey player.

Cam's lips were full and soft, melting easily into Drew's. It was nothing like the girls that he had dated. Cam's kisses were simply beautiful whereas Bianca had been aggressive and Katie too needy.

They hadn't known each other that well, but their kiss was a promise that they would.

Even though Cam was a mess right now, Drew had gladly stolen that kiss. Looking back, he only wished we could have stolen more.

* * *

Cam's funeral had been horrible. Drew hadn't even had the courage to go.

He didn't know how to explain their relationship to those who went. No one knew about Cam and him: a relationship of secret kisses, hugs, and tearful breakdowns.

Drew mourned in private. He never told his parents nor Adam: the one person who he could have trusted.

He hoped that the funeral had been nice. In his mind, he imagined Cam, young and pretty as ever, being buried. He would always be handsome.

Finally, after several weeks, Drew visited his grave.

"I don't know how to get over you, Cam." Drew cried, setting down flowers.

It would be the first of many flowers that decorated Cam's grave. To Drew, Cam would forever be beautiful, buried beneath the flowers. It suited the precious boy.

He kept crying, but there was no one to comfort him. Drew now understood how Cam had once felt, alone and unable to deal with the pains of life.

Drew wouldn't join Cam...even if the thought frequently slipped into his mind. Cam would never accept Drew killing himself. He would have to live for the both of them despite how much he was hurting.

* * *

Dating had dulled the pain.

Drew started using girls, dating them to momentarily forget how Cam still affected him. He had always been a player, but it only become worse with Cam's deaths: few girls in the school hadn't had some fling with Drew.

He _only_ dated girls.

Cam was the first and last boy that Drew had dated. He could never relive that pain again: it would be too real, too vulnerable for him.

Dating girls let him forget that he had ever dated Cam...

But Cam's memory would never be buried.

Even in his dreams, Drew still thought about Cam: forever beautiful, untouched by age. Cam lay under the flowers, always smiling and waiting for Drew to return.

Losing Cam had hurt him...but Drew kept on hurting all of the people he dated. He didn't know how to escape this, so he kept on dating. He had truly hurt Clare and Zoë despite how kind they had been to him.

Clare was the one he regretted the most. She was perfect friend, but Drew had ruined her. He only hoped that things could be fixed soon. Joining Cam looked more and more enticing.

Under the flowers, maybe Drew could also find peace.

* * *

Finally, Drew had stopped trying to hide the pain. He stopped trying to put on the façade: the same, happy-go-lucky expression around his friends.

He even stopped dating.

When he had gone to Clare's house, he had intended to apologize for leaving her.

But his body would no longer hide his pain.

Drew broke down crying, throwing himself into a hug with Clare after she opened the door. She didn't know how to react. Drew had played with her and abandoned her...

Clare would never abandon a friend who was so obviously hurting.

She brought him into the house, shutting the door. He told her everything. Clare held him, trying to comfort away the tears. Drew regretted none of it.

* * *

Drew stood over Cam's grave, placing more flowers around it. For the first time, he didn't cry coming here. Cam's death had wrecked him: changing him in ways he still didn't fully understand. Drew was still confused, still left with so many unanswered questions.

Why hadn't Drew been strong enough to stop Cam's death?

That question would never be answered. It also could not be dwelled upon. Drew needed to continue living...and enjoying his life for the both of them.

In the end, that was all that he could do to honor Cam's memory. He would always be Drew's first love: forever buried beneath the flowers.

Never forgotten; forever beautiful.

Drew left the grave, open to finally healing. He would be honest with his friends and family: the only way to live.

For now, he would continue to bring flowers to his first and not last love.

* * *

AN: I'm thinking about trying to write this pairing less tragic someday, but this story just came from me. I also really like random pairings (have Drew and Cam ever talked?)

I'm taking one-shot requests and am already planning out the others that were suggested. In the meantime, I have updated my longer story "Angel Guts" (Hunter/Zig).


End file.
